I shut my eyes
as the panic begins.
I’m drowning in emotions of all kinds
but it’s all fake within.
I pray to God
as I sink to the end.
My life seems stretched apart at times like this,
with nothing left to send.
Yes, nothing left,
not even some signal
to ask you: what’s it like to feel alive?
My mind’s icy cystal,
clear and empty
and easily shattered.
Oh, I can’t see which way I’m going
through old dreams that mattered.
I feel blinded.
That’s when ice begins to spread,
freezing up my eyelids until I scream,
filling me up with dread.
into the freezing layers,
while the piercing cold slows down my heartbeat.
I tossed away my cares
and after all,
I’m just a girl with dead eyes.
I want you to care when I, myself, don’t.
I’m filled with millions of lies –
I can’t believe them.
Please, just at least look at me.
Can I know what it’s like to feel alive?
I’m blind inside; I can’t see.
I’m numb within.
I can’t feel pain anymore.
Shred my heart to pieces, but I won’t wince –
I’m used to sinking lower.
I’m so far down
I’m in an ocean of ice.
I’m alive but I can’t move. I can’t breathe
but I don’t even think twice.
You don’t need me.
It’s okay to pass me by
because I no longer feel anything.
I want to feel alive again.