am i dreaming?
i’m not sure. one moment ago i was running down the wet, stoney sand & now i’ve been thrown into the deep, aqua magic. i feel intangled between reality & dreams. the water swirls around my neckline & i sense every emotion run through me. i feel complete joy & yet some fear mixed in with it as i let the deep blue embrace me. it’s an ocean of my thoughts, my dreams & my memories rushing about me. i throw my head back & absorb the moment. it feels like freedom, unlike anything i’ve experienced before.
the sky is clear today & a vibrant shade of blue… just the way i like it. while i playfully jump into each wave as they approach me, my spirit feels free.
that’s something we all want more of, isn’t it? it may be over something small, but we all wish for freedom from at least something in our lives. everytime i enter the deep blue it gives me a feeling of freedom from my annoying, negative thoughts. it carries me away to a dreamlike sort of happiness.
earlier today, i felt… …apart. just this morning i’d wanted to be someone else. i wanted to a better, more normal & more “everything together” person. but now, as i stand with the water flowing around me, i wonder, what if i already am that person? what if, for all this time, i already was enough but too blind to see it? these are times when i feel some momentary greatness – when i’m temporarily glorious inside.
& now, this is where i feel complete again – that is the magic of the sea. everytime i enter this water it feels like i’ve finally discovered a long lost piece of myself. because here, i can be me. i’m no longer pretending to be someone else.
perhaps God gave us the seaside so we can experience what it feels like to have a little bit of heaven on earth. i’m not sure. but whatever the case, here is where i’ll always come & feel tremendously blessed to be alive & right now, as i run deeper into the water’s open arms, i can hear the ocean whisper to me. yes, it whispers softly. perhaps i’m the only one who can hear. nevertheless, i’ll take in its words of assurance. the calm waves seem to have this to say to me:
“you have always been enough. you have already become the person you’ve dreamed to be. you have been perfectly moulded by the Creator – uniquely cherished. you are magnificent in your own way, child.”
i hear every word – i drown in them. this is why i love to ocean so, so much. it gives me freedom & a joyous thrill of hope. for, this is where i see, because of Christ, perfectionism is not required in this cycle of life. all those faults & mistakes i once made have floated far behind me & i don’t care. they made me who i am today… & i am enough. the same goes for you, dear.
*sometimes we will die & sometimes we will fly away, either way you’re by my side until my dying days* ~sarah xx
HAPPY NEW YEAR, FOLKS! ❤ (it’s already 2020 where i’m at)