~how beautiful it is~

​13/01/20

i pulled my bike onto the wet tarmac and jumped onto the hard seat. the rain was light and gently tapped on my head, stroking my face as its soft tears continued to fall.

i have heard people call the rain miserable and drab, others avoid it like a disease; but i don’t understand why. i love the rain and i’ll gladly step outside to feel it on my flesh. although, it does come across sad to me – as if it really is the sky’s very own tears. yet, it’s comforting. i love to hear the rain water tapping on my window at night, it’s so therapeutic to listen to. it’s pleasant, yet absorbed in sorrow. i know i’ll never be able to express the reason why it comes across that way.

i watched the bikes tyre run along over the path as i pedalled faster and faster with blink-182 accompanying me over my earbuds. the rain grew heavier. my denim jacket and hoodie were soon soaked. my hands went completely numb with the cold water (it was most definitely a mistake to wear fingerless gloves).

but, distracting me from the rain was one of the most prettiest views i’d seen in months. just on my left was the golden sunset. oh, how i’d missed seeing the sunset!

then, at that moment, the rain began to slow until the clouds dried their puffy eyes, leaving only evident puddles of their crying on the earth below.

the winter months have been hard for me, to be honest. i was usually fond of winter and i most definitely still enjoy the long, rich, dark nights. but the bitter cold had got to my heart in some way or another this time around. i’d allowed sadness to sneak it’s way into my soul. it was only earlier that i’d been sulking in my bedroom, isolating myself. but, i was glad i had c​o​me to the park today. as i sat on my bike the view made me think about life – that soon the dull​ and sadness​ of winter will dry up, only letting spring step forward with her magical ​and glorious sunlight.​​

these tears of sorrow will not last forever, child. look up, to the sun.

i guess, that’s the way it is for us humans. just like plants we’re fragile and drooping without enough sunlight in our lives. but, the wa​r​m weather will never abandon us forever, it only tests us while it’s gone. now, as i hold up the phone’s camera to snap a picture of this glory before it’s gone, i realise that these sunrays are promising spring’s magnificent and soon return. ah, life is beautiful, isn’t it? my mouth curves into a small smile as the lyric enters my head, “oh how rare and beautiful it is, to even exist.”

i muse over the line, it’s words are bleeding with truth.

now, i think i’m ready to cycle home again. life already seems brighter, both literally and mentally. these dark days are almost over and my spirit feels warmer. throughout these light bouts of winter tears i’ll await spring’s hopeful return. we haven’t got too much time left to wait… and we’ve made it this far, kid.

~sarah xx

24 thoughts on “~how beautiful it is~

  1. oh sarah you’re so very right! every sunset, every piece of blue sky peaking between the clouds – they all promise spring and summer and light which we will be here soon. and i LOVE that lyric … what song is it from? is it the song that you linked? I really wanna listen to it rn but i’m actually still at school! XD when i get home i’ll definitely give it a listen :))
    you are such a talented writer. taking small, almost insignificant moments and transforming them into something beautiful that can affect others is, in my opinion, one of the most powerful things writers can do. and you definitely did that!
    thank you for this reminder to keep looking up! there’s hope out the window <3<3<3
    power to the local dreamer ||-//

    Liked by 1 person

    • ahh, jul, i adore reading your comments. i’m happy you enjoyed this, thank you for reading :)) and yes, i linked the song – saturn by sleeping at last! i think you’ll like it, it’s really beautiful ❤️
      aw jul, what you said really means SO much to me. i honestly can’t find the words… thank you! honestly, it was a reminder i wrote to myself when i was low, but you’re making me so glad that i shared it ❤️❤️ and yes, there is *always* hope out the window, so that’s where we’ll go! ||-//

      Liked by 1 person

  2. sarah, your writing is so. powerful. it’s so beautiful and thought-provoking… which i love! i can totally see what you mean about the rain. it’s somewhat of a conundrum- there is something so heart-wrenching about the rain, tears fell from heaven. it’s melancholy, but there’s something so beautiful to be found in it. the way so many people find comfort in knowing they aren’t alone, or how the rain disguises. and isn’t it so amazing how the sunset seems to hold all the answers in the world? i’m so glad you got to see it again!! everyone should get to- it’s like the opposite of rain, a golden positivity in contrast to a bittersweet symphony. like you said, the sunlight is transforming (golden hour!)

    your words about how the sunlight is never really gone and is only testing us rang so close to heart! that’s such a beautiful thing, to know the sun will rise and we will try again ;))

    this was such a beautiful post! <3<3<3 and "saturn" is just… ineffable.

    Liked by 1 person

    • vaish, that’s one of the greatest things someone’s ever said to me. thank you. yeah, i’ve always compared rain to something like… a sad song. the song’s sad but, for a lot of people, sad songs are the ones which comfort us the most. why do we listen to sad songs? …i don’t think i’ll ever be able to answer that question, in the same way i’ll never know why we love the rain so much & yet also find it somewhat miserable.

      *ahem* sorry for that ramble. anyways! yesss, golden hour just gives off so much hope. it’s the perfect way to end the day. and YESSSS, the sun *will* rise & we *will* try again. <those words are so comforting (omw, truce just started playing on my list!!)

      thank you so much vaish, your comment was really sweet & beautiful to find in my inbox ❤❤ have a great day ||-//

      Liked by 1 person

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