it’s 7am on saturday morning. a small playlist of favourite songs is playing on repeat in the background. the current song is soft and heartgrinding. there’s something about it that makes me completely go back in time and think over my life. all those memories i never want to let go of. the tears of nostalgia are running down my cheeks and i’ve never realised just how precious life is before.
my life is like a movie, but no matter how far we’ve got into it, the plot is only just beginning to thicken. i’m already craving to rewind. so, queue the memories.
(most of these photos are reaaaally poorly taken. but they’re memories, so they’re still perfect to me)
i remember taking the very first picture through my camera’s lense. it was my dad’s old camera, which i then held in my hands. little did i know of the many pictures it would grow to take
i remember watching this sunset with my brothers in lincolnshire. it seems like centuries ago.
i remember touring this castle, with my family and one of my most favourite persons in the world. i never wanted this day to end.
i remember seeing the rainbow with my mum, in booth’s car park, straight after a harsh downpour. it had been months since i’d seen such a beautiful rainbow.
i remember pushing my laughing sister on this very swing, about two years ago now.
i remember filming the countryside we passed on my family’s car trips. on this ride, i remember listening to high hopes by pink floyd over the car speakers… and things were good.
i remember taking unusable blurry photographs of the view from the ferry out the car window, next to my crazy sibling, we stayed up half the night laughing. i love the memories we made, brother.
i remember this winter. we had snowball fights, my siblings were cruel to me and pushed me facedown into the snow and my brother made these crazy snowmen of superman and batman.
i remember many, many nights perched on my parent’s bedroom windowsill, watching the sunset with what it costs by switchfoot gently playing on my earbuds. these were some of the most calming moments of my life.
i remember so many well-played games of fun we had on the living room floor.
i remember eating fish and chips in the back of the van, having the weirdest conversations with my brother and taking random pictures of strangers (which is weird, i know, okay?)
i remember the many summer days of 2018, when i just sat outside in my special quiet spot – singing, studying and writing secret poetry because i was far too shy to let a single soul read it.
i remember staying up far too late that summer, mostly drawing and taking countless photos of the moon (i learnt that drawing by natural light turns out a lot better, not drawing by a flashlight…)
i remember the many drives back and forth between home and our rented house that we stayed in after our home was flooded.
i remember the notebooks, journals and sketchbooks. inside them are locked so many memories and sketches never to be forgotten.
i remember how we spent christmas in the first year after moving back into our home again. it was a little different than most years, but still packed with family happiness.
i remember dashing around with my crazy siblings, taking in the magical christmas lights that were hung outside and singing at the top of our lungs.
i remember the fun photoshoots me and my sister loved to have.
i remember spending my spring usually stuck up a tree in the backyard. probably daydreaming about stories to watch/write.
i remember happy visits to the movie theatre, back when i was a hardcore marvel addict.
i remember all the fun we had just hanging out in the sun together, earning our tans.
i remember everything. every smile and every tear. every good moment and every bad moment. i don’t want to forget them.
they’re just images, of small insignificant happenings of my life, probably entirely meaningless to you. but they mean the world to me. it’s honestly the smallest moments in life that turn into the greatest memories for me. every laugh and every breakdown, they are all a part of my life. all i can think is, how did i make it this far? how did that helpless baby girl in the hospital room turn into this teenager, sitting in the corner with a snapback pulled over her head, violently typing into a laptop computer and flipping through the mental house of poloraids which molded her into this person. so many pictures, too many memories to count. now i realise how much life should be treasured. with every step i took of this wild adventure called life, i made it through every draining day and lived out some of the best moments ever. i’m still on the journey to fully discovering myself, but overall it’s been a good one.
life has been interesting. with all my siblings growing up it’s hard not to get a little sad. but this is why memories stay with us. i can look back and see my life fit together like puzzle pieces. any time i felt low and told myself life is pointless, i was far from correct. life is precious. so, so precious. every memory is a piece of treasure to hold onto forever.
just think of the sunset, the stars at night, the beautiful eyes of the people you love the most, your favourite songs, the breeze outside, the raging ocean, the concert halls, the vibrant colours coating the whole wide world, the sound of crackling fire, the smell of rain and most of all, the feeling of pure nostalgic energy… such small things on earth, but they’d honestly be missed greatly.
what are some of your happiest memories?